THE DAY AFTER 7/10

As I move further into my 20s, I find that I tend to feel happier the day after my birthday. The pressure to be visibly happy is reduced greatly as is the pressure to do things you’d rather never do for the sake of social media.

I’ve found that there tends to be so much pressure put on birthdays and it starts from childhood. I’m sure some of us can still remember the days of primary school when we’d share goody bags. And there was always that one person who had everything in their goody bags. So we’d go home and wonder why we didn’t have all that stuff in our goody bags and then resolve to change it up on our next birthdays. Except by then, the goalposts would have changed once again and the cycle and questions would continue, and the pressure would increase.

I don’t do well with pressure. It makes my heart race and gives me what I call pressure paralysis. It makes me feel extremely anxious like I’m back in Law School, up on stage in front of 5,000 people and I know what I’m supposed to say but the words won’t come out and I start having a panic attack.

I figured out a hack that has helped me greatly: if the pressure to do something a certain way is choking you, scrap that idea and do it another way.

My birthday was yesterday and I did nothing out of the ordinary. I had planned this birthday to the last second, I’d have 2 cakes, small chops, juice, I’d have professional pictures taken, I’d go out and turn up etc etc. And then on the week of, I noticed I had literally no energy to do anything towards that. So in the end, I did absolutely nothing. No cakes, no professional pictures, de nada.

What surprises me is the peace of mind I had yesterday. I’d bought small chops and asun for the ones who gave me life on Friday and I’d praised the One who made it worth living on the day of and there was no one and nothing for whom I had to pretend anything for. So relaxing.

It’s the day after my birthday today and what started out as a thank you post has now become an op-ed. 😊
Getting back to the purpose of this post, I’d like to say a HUGE thank you to my village. The people who stand by me every day, every time. My brothers, Olayinka, Ayomide, Joy, Fifi, Mobi, Tomi, Rukayat, Yanmife, Nedoux, Bisola, my cousins, my uncles, my aunties etc etc etc.

I’M SO GRATEFUL I GET TO DO LIFE WITH YOU ALL!

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Lyrically Speaking… Again

For some reason today, I wanted to reread Emmanuella Onyilofor’s life affirming poem.

It brought back all these memories of a time in my life that was the catalyst for the creation of the woman I am now. In addition to that poem is the song I’m about to post today. 

The song title is BRAVE by Sara Bareilles.

And by the way guys, if you ever happen to meet her, hook a sister up. Tell her that she’s awesome and I really like the fact that she wrote such a relatable song. Tell her that her song made me stand up and start drawing lines in the sand. Because we are not dustbins and we are not meant to hold other people’s trashy words inside us. But if you can’t tell her all of this, just tell her I’m a huge fan of this song and I like her for creating it.

Long story short, behold *does dramatic fat Amy jazz hands*:

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You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love

Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do

When they settle ‘neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes a shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly, I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave
Everybody’s been there,

Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy

Fallen for the fear

And done some disappearing,

Bow down to the mighty

Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in

Show me how big your brave is
Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly, I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly, I wanna see you be brave

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out

Honestly, I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
And since your history of silence

Won’t do you any good,

Did you think it would?

Let your words be anything but empty

Why don’t you tell them the truth?
Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly, I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

See you be brave
I just wanna see you (yeah)

I just wanna see you (oh ooh)

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

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Lyrics as always by http://www.azlyrics.com. Give them a big hand guys. 👏 Farhanitrate and Prerajulization. Get the reference?

Edited as always by Obianuju J. Ayalogu. NB- I got sick of the purple box casing and so I edited it out. 😋.

P.S- For further information about the time when those memories were fresher memories, please head on over here. Thank you!

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Article Recommendation

http://pathsonwater.com/2016/10/12/authenticity-and-the-social-epidemic-of-happiness/- This post touched me deeply. Why do we as people believe and automatically expect other people to always present us with smiling faces? Tears are NOT shameful, neither is anger, neither is being expressionless. We should put our best foot forward, that I agree to. But we should also own our emotions. Forgive the mini rant. It’s a great post.

http://pathsonwater.com/2016/07/05/defining-happiness-through-time/- I try to have my article recommendations direct you to different blogs but this post was so great as well, I had to put it up. Can’t recommend this enough.