Rounding Up and Running Away

I started both my blogs for me. For myself. I started the original blog as a compromise to an urge to be sociable, something I knew from experience that I could not execute for really long periods of time. 

There were not so many people I felt comfortable showing my real face to. And that was okay. It meant that I treasured the friendships I formed, but it also meant that I needed incredible amounts of downtime from people. 

The original blog was my way of being sociable, but on my own terms. That’s why I kept myself anonymous. That’s also why I started this blog.

While my old blog was my concession to sociability on my own terms i.e. being anonymous, this blog is my concession to my personality. That’s why one of the first things I ever posted was My Multiple Person Disorder. An explanation of sorts to you. The old blog was started by Obi. This one was started and is run by Obianuju. That’s why this is the blog I care about most. That’s why this is the blog I promote more. Because this blog is a reflection of myself and my personality in its entirety. And vain though it might seem, I want it to get all the accolades and admiration due it. And me.

But there was something I didn’t quite bargain for. I didn’t bargain on meeting people just like me, facing the exact challenges, and constant monsters I faced. Laughing at the not so funny things I laughed at, chalking it up to my weird sense of humor. If I have a weird sense of humor, then I’m in good company. I didn’t expect to find friends, even substitute big sisters. But I’m glad I found them and I’m glad my relationship with them is growing.

I present to you one of the most amazing and greatest writers of our generation. 

This is not an exaggeration. 

Adaezenwa constantly blows me away with the quality of the content she posts. I’ve never read a blog post of hers and come out without thinking, laughing, crying or humming. She is also a tremendously amazing human being and I hope she knows that. Because it’s difficult to recognize sometimes that you are amazing. That you are loved. That you are worthy of praise and envy and admiration. 

But even if she may not recognize it from time to time, that’s what I’m here for. Because that’s what friends are for. Because friends remind you of you.

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By the way, 👇👇👇👇 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. From Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. Please take some time to meditate on it.

9. Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; 

10. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
11. Again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone?
12. And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Meditate on the passage, guys and eliminate all friendships that don’t conform. 

Because life is too long to have useless/ bad friendships. – Obianuju Ayalogu

I convinced Adaezenwa to write a post for me. It’s the first time she’ll be appearing on my blog, so show her some love everybody! 👏👏👏. 

By the way, she is currently a contestant in a writing competition and needs as many votes as possible to win. Please read the story, and if you love it, like I’m sure you will, click on the blue heart in top of the story to vote. Read and vote here 👉 http://sgnt.media/home/clash-of-the-titans/kolanut-palava-ezeada-ezenwa/. 

Thank you!

And now, without further ado; her contribution.

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When I was a child there were many times I wanted to run away from home, I’d even selected my running away clothes- my blue t-shirt that had a beach scene at the top half and white and black horizontal stripes on the bottom half, my yellow skirt that was excellent for twirling, my red top canvas boots  with the blue trousers and blue shirt that went with it (I saw a picture of me in that outfit recently with my trousers hitched to my chest like an aspiring palmwine tapper) and my favourite pyjamas which was an ivory and red flower printed concoction of perfection. 

I never did run away, even with all the annoyances that came with being my parents’ child (they put the over in overprotective) and the call of wild adventure in my blood that came from the children’s books I read (my aunt brought bags full of Canadian children’s books from her boss who was a Rotary club chapter president). For one thing I had no idea how I’d survive despite how easy it seemed in those books, I (wisely, in retrospect) decided that Canadian methods might fail me in Nigeria but I didn’t stop dreaming of grand adventure, I still do. 

Growing up is the biggest scam, you think when you get bigger and have freedom then you get to do the things you want, when you want to and however freaking way you want to. Life sits at a corner and laughs like a maniac as the child that was you plots a better life. If that isn’t your story then you are extremely lucky and you have got to show me your BaBa… 

The urge to run away still lives in me, this time it is almost as strong as my need for oxygen. I want to go away, far from home, from my many problems, from unfulfilled expectations and disappointing realities and most of all this crushing recession that makes the Naira almost become attractive for use as tissue paper… yes I said it. I want to leave Nigeria for a country I have not decided on yet but the United States- yes even with Trump as president, Canada (for all the books I read as a child and their superior educational system for Adaeze jnr and her siblings) and Ireland (because I was an Irish storyteller and pub owner in another life…) as top contenders. 

I was talking to Obianuju about it on WhatsApp, about the options I want to explore that would make emigration possible. One strong reason for my wanting to leave is that the things I want to do with my writing and pharmacy are not feasible in Nigeria, plus the access to better management of PCOS makes me want to leave so bad. Unfortunately due to the downward slide of the naira, it is getting harder and harder to even make such plans- a real catch-22 situation. 

“Write about it and send it to me” she ordered… 
And I began to write. 

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Article Recommendation

http://minimalbelle.com/2016/11/15/five-tips-for-the-workplace/- Not because she followed me. Because it’s so true!

http://www.hattylolla.com/2016/10/how-to-use-vision-board-to-get-whatever.html?m=1 – It’s a really good article. Lots of tips to implement.

I CAN KILL MYSELF

Did the title shock you?
I meant it to. ;-). Sorry about that. I’m about to get real with you for a minute.

Almost every law student can tell you that at some point or the other, when the caseload and the volume of the materials they were called to read got heavier, they asked themselves; “Why am I studying Law?” Why did I choose this course?
I had the “privilege” of listening to just such a rant in Year 3. And at the end of it, the speaker concluded by saying- “I cannot kill myself”.
When she was done, I patted her on the back and went on to continue my own reading.

I, on the other hand, believe that if at first you don’t succeed, find new books and read them. And so it went on, for years. But I wasn’t getting the results I was expecting. So I read even more. I created study groups, I prayed seemingly so much at those times.

That’s just background information. This is the story :-
Burnout can be a terrible thing. A hopeless thing. And I crashed and  burned out last year. The burnout was explosive… and very noisy too.
When I ‘d burned out almost fully, a friend of mine (Baby Girl Number 2) wrote two pages of confessions out for me. And since  becoming a relatively recent, frequent reader of this blog, I now fully understand the power of daily, positive confession. And its importance too.

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I don’t want you to squint but I did want to share the confessions with you. It is quite great and I believe it will help with any battles and challenges you might be facing.
Here goes-

THESE ARE MY DECLARATIONS BECAUSE GOD LOVES ME

I DECLARE THAT I HAVE A SOUND MIND FILLED WITH GOOD THOUGHTS,  NOT THOUGHTS OF DEFEAT BY FAITH. I AM WELL ABLE, I AM ANOINTED, I AM EQUIPPED. MY THOUGHTS ARE GUIDED BY GOD’S WORD EVERYDAY. NO OBSTACLE CAN DEFEAT ME BECAUSE MY MIND IS PROGRAMMED FOR VICTORY.

I DECLARE THAT BREAKTHROUGHS ARE COMING IN MY LIFE, SUDDEN BURSTS OF GOD’S GOODNESS, NOT A TRICKLE, NOT A STREAM, BUT A FLOOD OF GOD’S POWER. A FLOOD OF HEALING. A FLOOD OF WISDOM, A FLOOD OF FAVOUR. I AM A BREAKTHROUGH PERSON. GOD IS OVERWHELMING ME WITH HIS GOODNESS AND AMAZING ME WITH HIS FAVOUR.

I DECLARE THAT THERE IS AN ANOINTING OF EASE UPON MY LIFE. GOD IS GOING BEFORE ME MAKING THE CROOKED PLACES STRAIGHT. HIS YOKE IS EASY AND HIS BURDEN IS LIGHT. I WILL NOT CONTINUALLY STRUGGLE. WHAT USED TO BE DIFFICULT WILL NOT BE DIFFICULT ANYMORE. GOD’S FAVOUR AND BLESSINGS ON MY LIFE IS LIGHTENING THE LOAD AND TAKING THE PRESSURE OFF.

I DECLARE THAT I AM CALM AND PEACEFUL. I WILL NOT LET PEOPLE OR CIRCUMSTANCES UPSET ME. I WILL RISE ABOVE EVERY DIFFICULTY KNOWING THAT GOD HAS GIVEN ME THE POWER TO REMAIN CALM. I CHOOSE TO LIVE MY LIFE HAPPY, BLOOM WHEREVER I AM PLANTED AND LET GOD FIGHT MY BATTLES.

THIS IS MY DECLARATION BECAUSE HE LOVES ME!

By the way, here is Baby Girl Number 2. She’s an amazing person and a phenomenal friend. I’m so proud of the woman she is  becoming.

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P. S- The Freedom series is not yet over. I’ve just been extremely lazy about it. I’ll post something within the week.

As always, thanks for reading! And commenting ;-).