Happy Thursday Week 15

ONE
In my new church, something I wholly admire are the welfare programs they regularly hold. From clothes, to education and food, everything is covered by the welfare department. And every once in a while, we have the health challenges of a member brought to the attention of the church for contributions to be made if for instance the person cannot afford the cost.
Last week Sunday, in the church, the case of someone who’d been involved in an accident where his kidneys and bladder were affected was brought to the attention of the congregation.They’d fundraised for him before but ongoing medical and miscellaneous costs had halved the money. A spot had been found for him to have surgery but they needed N600,000.00 in addition to the half left, to pay the doctor who was to perform the surgery.
Donation boxes were about to be passed. But while I was debating with myself as to how much to donate, someone donated all of it. All N600,000.00 (Six Hundred Thousand naira (only!) of it.
To be honest, I was happy and so relieved as well. My mind attaches to the oddest things, and I know, that if the donation had run for about 2 weeks, I might have done something I’d regret later, like given away all my savings again. But lucky for all parties, I didn’t have to. Just say a prayer for that person, please. It was such an uplifted moment in the church when his/her donation was announced.May God bless you whomever and wherever you are. May He cause His face to shine upon you and heal you and give you peace.

TWO

Last week Friday was the 22nd anniversary of my first birthday. That’s my over complicated way of saying I turned 23.

 No you can’t have any cake, I ate it all. But if I see any comments asking for *cake, be rest assured that I will ask for my birthday present in return. Quid pro quo, nay?

I didn’t post the birthday list thing like I did last year, because I realized at the #Blassion event, that I really don’t like people knowing all that much about me when I don’t know all that much about them. So, peace out. If inclined, please leave a birthday blessing for me in the comments. Thank you.

*Cake- Not excluding food, drinks, ice cream, all the lacha lacha associated with birthdays. It was last week. It’s been eaten, digested and err…

THREE

Story story….

So, I love eating abacha. Mad love it. It ranks among my top fave foods in fact. But after one super disastrous attempt making abacha for myself some years back, I started buying it. 

My dad would tell me on the regs, “Uju, buy this thing and make it at home. You can’t trust the process of the cooking of food vendors” and I’ll be like “It’s not like anyone has died from eating abacha outside. Even if I purge, maximum 2 days, and I’ll be a-ok.” (Not quite so specific but, you get the gist).

Until 5 people died from eating abacha. As it happens, I was in the car with my dad when they announced a cholera outbreak had killed 5 human beings. 5! All of whom had eaten abacha. 

I thank God my stupid pride did not cause my name to appear in the list of dead people. Thank God for me if you would, please?

Also, is anyone willing to make me a large container of abacha? I saw one woman selling some on my way to court yesterday and but for God…

FOUR
So one dude called me yesterday. He knew I was a lawyer. He asked if my “lawyering” extended to supply contracts. 

Sure, I replied and then he started giving me some very detailed instructions. Now, I was at the Ministry of Lands when I got that call and while I could hear him, I couldn’t be sure I’d remember, so I asked him to please send a text explaining exactly what he wanted me to do. 

He sent the text, giving me the number of someone to inquire about something from. 

Now, major red flags:

1. He said he knew me. I did not know HIM.

2. Why can’t you inquire about something by yourself? This was not something only a lawyer could ask. It was a basic transaction. Buyer and seller. What is my business?

3. What is my business? I make sure not to assume the worst about people right off the bat because that won’t get me far. But come on! I may be slow, but I’m certainly not stupid. You ask me to represent you, tell me someone will call me to give me money, you need me to inquire about something for you, something you can inquire for yourself. And I felt weird.

So I reverted to the lawyering failsafe; if you want me to represent you, you and I need to draft a contract which you will sign (I’d have insisted on seeing some identification as well), authorizing me to act on your behalf for a set fee. 

If I’d had any doubts that I was persecuting an innocent man, they ended when he swiftly said that he and I couldn’t do business if that was the prerequisite. 

Money is great, honestly. But I’m not about to entangle myself in something illegal or get scammed cos I don’t have patience. No. Everything good will come. At the right time. And it won’t make me feel weird. 

And to buttress my rationalizations, I got another, above board opportunity that same afternoon. 

Yay God!

FIVE

Although NYSC is not over for me as yet, I’m leaving my boss tomorrow!

I’m not going to go into details (yet), but I will tell you that I am so excited to be leaving and at the same time, super sad. 

But I’m leaving my boss tomorrow! 

Thank you God. For a successful completion. Because it will be successful. I did not steal, did not cheat, I was above board in everything I did. And I can’t wait to pack all my stuff and go buy shawarma. 

Thank God for me peoples! Praise God for me.

*

Author’s Note- I’m sorry if this offends anyone’s sensibilities, but what the heck is wrong with Trump? What? 

And Bubu, I get that you have laser vision for stamping out corruption and while the DSS’ actions are legal, why now? And, what are you trying to distract us from?

*

Birthday Edition Wattpad Recommendations

๐Ÿ˜‰

Laura Jardine’s books- The Mechanic’s New Girl especially and all the others too. Really short books. I beg you, na beg I dey beg una, make una no read any book by this author anywhere people go dey look una. 

She funny well well. You go laugh. For me it’s not a problem, laughter is an integral part of my personality. I’m quirky, happy and lovable. That’s my “brand”, those are my characteristics. 

Take me Home- Blissom. Wow. This book was insanely good, I forced my eyes open all night to finish reading it. Wow!

Cell Phone Swap- Lindsay Summers/donotmicrowave.

 I’m making a sandwich. Two funny books at the edges and a serious one as the middle. This book is so funny, I crilaughed. It’s funny but it addresses some serious issues. I really, really, really can’t recommend this book enough.

*

Birthday Article Recommendations ๐Ÿ˜‰ (yes I know I’m milking it. Don’t be jelly *tongue in*)

http://chynanu.wordpress.com/2016/01/09/fear-will-always-fade/ – Evergreen.

http://www.sabinews.com/no-i-not-suffering-child-tope-owolabi/- Precisely.

http://brittneyamoses.com/i-dont-know-what-to-read-in-the-bible/- So simple, it’s thought provoking.

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16 thoughts on “Happy Thursday Week 15

  1. Hmm.. I thought that abacha debacle was a joke o.. I have been craving abacha too but I don’t know how to make it and am not ready to die from stubborn stupidity so I haven’t even bought since I heard the gist that it killed some people.

    1. Sisi, hearing this thing shocked me. Truth is, I know how to make it. The last time I made it however, I forgot to put the potash inside the palm oil. There are step by step text recipes and even video recipes. But man, I liked the way those street vendors made it.
      Thank you for commenting on my blog dear. I appreciate it.

  2. Hey!
    Nice to read you again. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Also happy to read how much better things are getting along for you.
    Happy belated birthday, lady!
    God bless.
    Cara.

    1. Cara!
      Forgive me for not visiting your blog as often as I should
      Thank you for the birthday wishes, I appreciate them and you.

    1. Thank you Uzoma!
      And indeed, I believe that thing wasn’t completely above board. But lucky for me, I’ll never have to find out.
      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  3. I have offended thee! I thought your birthday was 22nd! Jor ma binu darling mi.
    Wishing you everything beautiful, bright and wonderful!
    As for the abacha, my friend makes it and though it looks pretty easy, I’ve never attempted it.
    The guy was definitely up to stupid shit, I’m glad you were wise enough to turn him down.
    You really think I wouldn’t ask for cake? Ya joking!

    1. Actually, he haven’t. And it’s actually OK that you mixed up the dates. A friend of mine has her birthday on the 22nd.
      Thank you for the well wishes. And I noticed that you didn’t ask for cake. You just told me you were going to, so I think you’re sufficiently scared.
      As for that guy, we thank God. I wasn’t willing to start telling people stories that touch. I already have a large stockpile of them. No more.
      And abacha, nne, it is a very easy thing. The mistake I made years back was in not putting potash in my palm oil. But I’m ready to try again.
      Thank you for reading. And for the comment.

  4. Hey October baby, belated wishes.
    Guess you had fun.

    Abacha!!! I love abacha. But I don’t eat it as much as I love it. If I eat any which is prepared with oil that ‘slaps’ or over lingers it just leaves a bad taste/memory.

    1. Thank you dear. For the well wishes as well.
      I love abacha too. And I used to eat it often. And I know exactly what you’re talking about, the left over taste of palm oil in your mouth is hardly ever pleasant.
      Thanks for the comment.

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