LEARNING TO BE A BITCH (For Nedoux)

​ So the day after I wrote this post, Nedoux contacted me. The minute I saw the notification on my WhatsApp, I had a sense that it related to the post. After exchanging some pleasantries she asked me a question, and that question led to the posting of today. So thank you Nedoux, for exercising big sister concern. It’s nice to be worried over sometimes. 

Also, as much as possible, I don’t want to post Talk Thursday on Thursdays anymore lest it be mistaken for hers.

By the way, Grace dear, happy belated birthday. I wish you love, joy, prosperity and deep seated joyfulness.

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The world is not kind to women. It is an acknowledged, but commonly ignored fact. But I’m not here to cry about gender inequalities and how unfair they are to my gender.

I’ve had a picture like this since my first year in the University. Photo credit: Britney Spears on Twitter. Smart chic.

The point of this write up, is to point out something that I think a lot of people have warped. Have you ever watched Mean Girls? That constant backstabbing, the constant ambition to destroy others, that’s how life is. Ceasefires of hostilities are called, whenever people make alliances, the most recognizable of which are friendships and marriage.

So Obianuju, WHO IS A BITCH? 

According to the 2006 version of the Encarta dictionary, a bitch is a highly offensive term which insults a woman’s temperament.

Thus, a woman can only be called a bitch, when she acts in such a way that can be categorized as bitchy. 

But, according to the perceptions of people, who may be jealous or mean, a bitch is a woman or girl who manages to earn more than them or be more successful than they are.

A bitch is a woman who walks on the road and does not bother to contort herself into unnatural shapes so that a man or a boy can pass by first.

A bitch is someone who does not answer to every “Hey baby”and every kissy face made at her. 

A bitch is someone who hardly answers strangers when they ask why she’s laughing.

A bitch; is someone who doesn’t like small talk when it’s time to collect the money you’re owing her or when you’re standing over her food.

A bitch is someone who does not tolerate you insulting her, or screaming at her and will knock you down several pegs if you do.

A bitch is someone who will slide out of every one of your surprise lean ins, which are only  meant to tap current.

A bitch is someone who does not like strangers holding her hands hostage while drenching her face with saliva.

A bitch is someone who stares at you when you tell her you love her after a day.

A bitch is someone who tells you she has a boyfriend, which is true, when you try to set her up with your friend because you want to be recognized as the ultimate matchmaker during their wedding ceremony.

A bitch is someone who does not believe in swearing for her lecturers when she fails an exam.

A bitch is someone who does not believe that respect should still be maintained when your lesson teacher chases you all around your parents house trying to touch your pubescent private parts.

A bitch is someone who will wrestle you for the remote when you forget to tell her please and decide to hold it hostage.

A bitch is someone who hates being woken up from sleep to make food for her cousin who already has a plate of food in front of him.

A bitch is someone who does not believe that people under 18 should be in relationships especially with older people.

A bitch is someone who will block your number when the first thing you inquire about when you want to take her on a date for Valentine’s Day is whether she’d be willing to have sex with you afterwards.

A bitch, is anyone who will butt into any conversation where the advice bring given to her younger brother is potentially catastrophic.

A bitch is someone who will not allow anyone, employer, family member or not, speak to her or treat her like an incompetent, stupid thief.

A bitch is anyone who believes that promises need to be kept, that friendships shouldn’t be tossed aside without explanation or at least an argument. 

Photo credit: http://www.coolchaser.com

Basically, a bitch is anyone who believes in living her life with dignity, respecting herself, respecting others, and their rights when they’re able to comprehend them. A bitch is anyone with a mind of her own. And as such, I’m a bitch. 

Obianuju Jennifer Ayalogu is a stark, raving, happy bitch. It took me a long time to learn how to be one but now that I know how to be, I plan to never not be a bitch.

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By the way, Nedoux is organizing her first program. 

The details of it are in the picture below. So if you’re interested and I do hope you are, just send that email.

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14 thoughts on “LEARNING TO BE A BITCH (For Nedoux)

  1. This post is spot on! This subject has been on my mind recently! The word is used to describe every proactive enterprising female I know! Not sure if it is an insult or a compliment anymore?

    1. Thank you!
      And yes, I’ve found that being a female with ideas of your own, with money of your own, with self respect irritates and annoys a lot of people. So to me, bitch is a compliment. One I’m very happy to hear.

  2. I always say that people are so used to the idea of subservient women. Seeing women that are confident and successful confuses them and they react with hostility. If having self respect and dignity makes me a bitch, then so be it.

    1. 👆This comment is the💣. 😉
      If having self respect and dignity makes me a bitch…
      Very well put. Thanks for that.

  3. “A bitch is someone who stares at you when you tell her you love her after a day” – Absolutely! I’m one of those proud bitches. Nice one Uju.

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