Over a year later
“So, when are you planning to travel?”
“About week and a half from today. I seriously need a vacation”
“Aww, you poor baby”
“My bank account begs to differ and I’m not a baby”.
” I hear you”
She rolls her eyes. “Since you’re being such an annoying prat, let me start my own; when are you going to ask my sister to marry you?”
“How is Patrick?”
It is 6pm and I’ve seen my last scheduled client for today. He’s a follow up and today is his last session. He was my very first client and he had a variety of problems including OCD, suicidal tendencies, clinical depression. When my friend and I had successfully campaigned that psychology services be added to the list of services covered by the Health Maintenance Organizations affiliated with her hospital, his mother brought him the next day. An only child, he was her pride and joy. When he came in, he was nervous, mumbling to himself and he refused to sit on the chair until I had cleaned it three times with a mixture of Dettol and bleach. As I assess the confident, handsome young man in front of me, I’m grateful that I was the one who had gotten him to open up.
Before he leaves, he opens his bag and hands me a card and a gift card to go shopping. Then he asks, “Can I hug you?”
And I feel so fulfilled.
It really was my fault. I can’t deny it. I like Tega, no doubt. And as Morayo’s search for a boyfriend had led her to some massive assholes before (she had told me stories) I decided to do the gentlemanly thing and introduce her to another gentleman who was girlfriend hunting. And I can’t deny that having Tega paired up with someone else gave me peace of mind. I had seen interest in his eyes when he looked at Ebube and I had hated it.
About 2 months after the wedding, I set up a double date. Ebube warned me. She said I it was better if I threw a party and introduced them but I didn’t listen. So now, we’re on another double date and Tega has just proposed. And all eyes are on me. I’m not so cheesy as to synchronize a proposal.
Ebube is very calmly sipping her smoothie and maintaining a straight face. Looking at her now, I wonder what’s wrong with me. I love this girl. I actually like her. I’ve prayed with her, about her, for her and I have a peaceful feeling about our relationship. My dad keeps telling me that if I don’t marry her, he will marry her himself and make her my stepmother. What exactly is wrong with me?
On the drive back to Ebube’s house, she calmly keeps sipping her smoothie and writing something on her tab.
“What do you think about the proposal”?
“It was nice. It’s surprising though that he proposed to her during our double date. I was praying you wouldn’t do the same ”
“You don’t want me to propose to you?”
She flips the tab closed and directs me to park. “Of course, I want you to propose to me. But I don’t like public scenes and I don’t want you to jump into this before you’re ready. I love you. You love me. I know who you are and you know me. That’s okay for me at this point. Don’t stress yourself thinking that I’m disappointed that you haven’t yet proposed. I’m not. When it’s the right time, you’ll feel it and so will I. We good? ”
And then I drop her at home.
You’ll know the right time and the right one.
My mom used to say that to me. And I finally get it.
In the office the next day, I get a surprise visitor. Boma smiles at me, walking slowly towards me clutching an envelope. His hands are holding it so tight. It’s a sign that he’s nervous. Involuntarily, I flashback to the first time he asked me out.
He hands me a letter. Then he closes his hand over mine and squeezes it. I squeeze his back, then I drop it and turn over the letter.
To my son’s future wife.
I stare at him, quizzically. “Future wife? Is this your way of proposing to me?”
“No. At least not yet. I mean to say, not right now but I wanted you to know where I want this to go. I plan to ask you to marry me one day but I don’t think it’s time yet. And neither do you.”
I purse my lips, smile and nod. He gives me a soft kiss and he leaves immediately afterwards.
He told me about the letters a while back, on one of our nightly conversations. And I’m nervous. This woman did not know me. I doubt I ever met her in my life. She had no impression of my personality. And I know how protective most mothers are of their sons.
When I begin to have an anxiety attack, I imagine Boma in my head. “What should I do” I ask him.
“Don’t be scared. Just open it”
So, hands shaking, I open it and all my fears dissolve when I read the opening line.
Forgive the cheesy salutation. I discarded sweetheart and honeybunny because one is trite and probably holds no meaning now and the other makes you sound like a child. And I doubt my son wants to marry a person he considers a child.
I’m rambling, aren’t I? Forgive me. You’re probably wondering what someone you might have never met has to say to you. I’m not sure. But I knew that I wanted to pass on some words of advice to you. If you’re reading this, chances are 50-50 that you might have met me or that you haven’t.
I’ve been praying for you since my son was born. I’ve prayed for your schooling, your education, your social, financial and spiritual life. I’ve prayed for your jobs and your businesses. I’ve prayed that you will be a great influence on my boy and he on you. The Bible says that we are not supposed to tell of our charitable deeds but I wanted you to know that I’ve been thinking about you for a very long time. And even though I might not have met you, I asked God to send angels to take care of you in my stead. And I know they’ve done a great job of it.
If my son is marrying you, I’m quite sure you have a good heart. Boma might not know this but I’ve watched his dating preferences closely. I know that the deciding factor for him whenever he asks anyone out is whether or not they’re kind or if they are compassionate. He hasn’t changed, I’m sure. And I hope he won’t ever.
I have a favour to ask of you: be kind to my family. My husband is a teddy bear but sometimes he can simply be a bear. If you met him as a bear, I can only hope that you see beneath the exterior, to the loving man, the awesome father beneath that. If you met him as a teddy bear, please give him all the hugs and the love you would give an actual teddy bear. He loves people. And if you’ve met him, if you can see beneath the sometimes brash exterior, you can’t help but love him in return.
My daughter may act serious. She can be scary. But really, the most important thing to her, is her family. And if you treat her brother well, if you treat her father well, she will be friendly with you. Please don’t turn her away. She needs good friends; people who are invested in her life and her choices. She needs female confidants. I ask you, please be that for her.
How is your spiritual life? What is your current relationship with God? I have prayed that it is great. I have prayed that whatever else you might doubt, that by the time my son meets you, you are completely certain, whatever else you may doubt, that God loves you and will always be there for you. I have never subscribed to the belief that it is the sole duty of the woman to pray for the home. Whenever God would ask me to pray for my husband or my children, I would wake my husband up and ask him to pray with me. It used to annoy him. Once, he left our bedroom for a couple of months because he felt that I was disturbing him. Then my mom fell sick and I traveled to take care of her, leaving our two children with him, then our son got kidnapped but thankfully was rescued two days afterwards after my husband emptied his savings of 7 years. When I came back, my husband led the prayers. When I was too tired to pray, he would pray for me to receive strength. In the home you create with my son, I ask you to remember at all times, that although one will chase a thousand, two will put to rout 10,000. The sole responsibility for prayer does not rest only on you. If my son loves you enough to think of marrying you, he must have prayed for you. But don’t be satisfied with that, he needs to keep loving you enough to pray with you, to pray for you and to pray with and for the children the two of you might have.
Also, if you choose to have children (and this is grandmotherly bias speaking, I hope you do), pray with them. Constantly. Talk about prayer with them as easily as you talk about chores and school work. Make it normal for them. Sing praise songs with them. You’ll raise leaders that have a Godly heart that way.
In your business or your workplace, please don’t be a doormat. Be nice, definitely but be firm as well. Don’t take on more than you can handle. Balance your time. Set priorities and boundaries.
Take very good care of yourself.
Every single day, whatever you’re feeling, tell yourself that you are a queen. Reject any behavior from anyone that does not take into account your crown. When you feel like a queen, you attract two kinds of people; those who see and respect your crown and those who see your crown and want to remove it. Appreciate and affirm the first set, be nice but very firm with the second set.
Give no one any reason to speak bad about you. They will speak bad about you, definitely, but there is a confidence that comes from knowing that they have no basis to. Remember that once Saul fell asleep in a cave where David was hiding and David and his men had more than sufficient opportunity to kill him? Can you imagine how he would have felt if he had actually killed him when Shimei the son of Gera was insulting him? There is a justification that comes with having integrity. Never sell yours.
Never judge yourself or anyone based on circumstances. You’re a Queen, whatever your circumstances. Keep being queenly.
This letter is a hodgepodge collection of my thoughts. There’s a second letter. Even Boma doesn’t know about it. But I wanted to write to you. And tell you that I love you. And welcome you to the family.
I wish you tons of blessings on every side. May God bless you, my daughter.
Amelia (that’s a great name for a child, don’t you think so?)
By the time I’m done reading the letter, tears have pooled in my eyes. I place a call to Stephanie and we catch up. And I’m really grateful that she and I are friends.
Today, I’m going over to Pabby’s. Amara finally agreed to leave little Iris with us and go to dinner with her husband and it’s odd how much I’m looking forward to changing her diapers.
My dad and his wife are looking into the possibility of reconciling. I know that my little brother is praying that it will work out. Almost as much as he’s praying for Boma and I to get married soon. I don’t know why my family keeps on trying to marry me off. Then I remember how ardently Iris and I used to pray that her dad would marry my mom. Karma is cold hearted. And she has a very long memory.
I see my last patient of the day and she’s in a better place and she’s treating herself well. I’m happy about her progress.
When she leaves, I pick up my phone and predictably there it is;
“Have you read the letter yet? Are you madly in love with my mom now?”
“Yes I’ve read it. And yes, I am. However, I hope you know, this does not take the place of an actual proposal. I expect sparkles and fireworks.”
“You’ll get it. About a year from now?”
“Nahh. 6 months is good”
http://www.kacheetee.com/blog/2016/2/20/ – I read her entire blog through and through in one afternoon. I love this one cos it’s funny.
Kit Kids for school
Experience God’s Blessing Foundation
Account Number: 0070195322
Have an amazing week ahead.