On Saturday, Nonso took the dog to a nearby veterinarian to get a shot. #Rabiespreventionissuperimportantespeciallyasthedogthinksmylegisabone.
I didn’t accompany him but when he got back, he told me a wonderful story that kind of makes me wish I had. Kind of. But probably not.
So apparently, the vets were looking into the dogs ears etc and they were about to stick the needle in his butt. Until he saw it that is. He cried, (Mikey cries. You should hear it, it’s quite beautiful. Haunting, but beautiful as well) and screamed and then, when Nonso picked him up, he peed and pooped on him.
Did you read that?
He peed and he pooped on him.
When Nonso told me that, this was the expression on my face:
I’m not an evil person. Actually, I’m okay with being an evil person so it doesn’t bother me if you think it.
But the main reason I was holding back laughter instead of consoling my brother is because he does the exact same thing to me.
In the house, it is not uncommon to hear Nonso screaming, “Mikey, see that girl (me). Isn’t her leg juicy, isn’t it meaty? Quick, go and bite it”.
I stopped telling Nonso that the dog urinated on me because it always sent him into fits of laughter.
But karma is a perpetually dissatisfied beautiful woman. And she visited my brother on Saturday.
Laugh with me people. And from what he said, the poop was rank. Even the vets noticed it. Score!
The dynamics of my house are too diverse to be told in a single story. Not that I planned to. But when it comes to food, certain things are constant.
1.My dad loves garri above every other food.
2. My mom hardly ever eats garri, except if she or I have just made soup.
3. My mom also looves to take a bite or multiple bites of everyone’s food.
But, despite loving to taste everyone’s food, one of the fastest ways to irritate my mom is to touch her food. Don’t try it. You’ll save your ears a lot of pain that way.
But on Sunday, this last Sunday morning, my mom made a plate of food and I refused to let the plate go without tasting it. And what do you know, my mom and I shared a plate of food that wasn’t mine. For the first time in a very long time. Or ever. Can’t remember.
So, remember how last Tuesday, I mentioned how I had no energy to write Happy Tuesdays?
Well, I don’t know how it happened because the cap was securely locked and there were no spills but I began to smell one of my favorite perfumes everywhere and I mean every blessed place I went. For almost 3 days. I’d start feeling horrible about something and this smell would come and tickle my nose and it wouldn’t leave until I smiled. I can’t say I know why it happened like that. But I think God is invested in my personal happiness. That’s beautiful, no?
This is one of those I want you to think stories. And reply me.
In the police station today, while I was waiting to see someone, the channel was switched to Africa Magic Yoruba and an interesting movie was on- Femi Driver. Seeing as it’s already on Africa Magic, I’m not sure it’s a copyright infringement if I give you the entire gist of the movie. OK. So this dude, Femi, wants to get married but being a rich man, he wants his wife to love him for who he is. All well and good. So he and his driver, Egin trade places and he tries this trick on his girlfriends who beforehand don’t know his house, apparently. Yes, I said girlfriends.
There’s a juxtaposition at play in the movie. The case of Bukky, the girlfriend who falls for the trap and the case of Idontremember who loves him for who he is.
He loves Bukky but when I watched it, he introduced whatshername to his boss first. After that one passed the initial test with flying colours, he tried it on Bukky.
I liked the film. I really did. But;
1. If you want a virtuous woman, how do you hope to get one when you as a man are a stupid cheat?
2. If you introduced whatsherface as the original victim and she scaled through, what would you have done if Bukky had also scaled through? Married both of them?
3. And a question for all of you reading, honestly speaking, all things being equal, would you date a driver? Or an artisan?
Because lots of people kept saying Bukky’s unwillingness to made her a bad woman and I want to know what makes her bad.
In recent times,this video has been giving me life. Peep the officer’s expression when he receives the phone call about the latest robbery.
As a lawyer, I have certain issues with the arrest, but I understand that it’s fiction. But, still.
http://www.shadesofbrownnigeria.blogspot.com.ng/2016/02/there-are-many-hardworking-black.html – The first time I read this post, I mad loved it. Read it and see why. 😃
http://zikoko.com- This e- magazine is one of the funniest things I found off Twitter.