Happy Mishmash Tuesdays, Week 7

STORY ONE

On Saturday, Nonso took the dog to a nearby veterinarian to get a shot. #Rabiespreventionissuperimportantespeciallyasthedogthinksmylegisabone.
I didn’t accompany him but when he got back, he told me a wonderful story that kind of makes me wish I had. Kind of. But probably not.
So apparently, the vets were looking into the dogs ears etc and they were about to stick the needle in his butt. Until he saw it that is. He cried, (Mikey cries. You should hear it, it’s quite beautiful. Haunting, but beautiful as well) and screamed and then, when Nonso picked him up, he peed and pooped on him.
Did you read that?
He peed and he pooped on him.
When Nonso told me that, this was the expression on my face:
image

I’m not an evil person. Actually, I’m okay with being an evil person so it doesn’t bother me if you think it.
But the main reason I was holding back laughter instead of consoling my brother is because he does the exact same thing to me.
In the house, it is not uncommon to hear Nonso screaming, “Mikey, see that girl (me). Isn’t her leg juicy, isn’t it meaty? Quick, go and bite it”.
I stopped telling Nonso that the dog urinated on me because it always sent him into fits of laughter.
But karma is a perpetually dissatisfied beautiful woman. And she visited my brother on Saturday.
Laugh with me people. And from what he said, the poop was rank. Even the vets noticed it. Score!

STORY TWO

The dynamics of my house are too diverse to be told in a single story. Not that I planned to. But when it comes to food, certain things are constant.
1.My dad loves garri above every other food.
2. My mom hardly ever eats garri, except if she or I have just made soup.
3. My mom also looves to take a bite or multiple bites of everyone’s food.
But, despite loving to taste everyone’s food, one of the fastest ways to irritate my mom is to touch her food. Don’t try it. You’ll save your ears a lot of pain that way.
But on Sunday, this last Sunday morning, my mom made a plate of food and I refused to let the plate go without tasting it. And what do you know, my mom and I shared a plate of food that wasn’t mine. For the first time in a very long time. Or ever. Can’t remember.

STORY THREE

So, remember how last Tuesday, I mentioned how I had no energy to write Happy Tuesdays?
Well, I don’t know how it happened because the cap was securely locked and there were no spills but I began to smell one of my favorite perfumes everywhere and I mean every blessed place I went. For almost 3 days. I’d start feeling horrible about something and this smell would come and tickle my nose and it wouldn’t leave until I smiled. I can’t say I know why it happened like that. But I think God is invested in my personal happiness. That’s beautiful, no?

STORY FOUR

This is one of those I want you to think stories. And reply me.

In the police station today, while I was waiting to see someone, the channel was switched to Africa Magic Yoruba and an interesting movie was on- Femi Driver. Seeing as it’s already on Africa Magic, I’m not sure it’s a copyright infringement if I give you the entire gist of the movie. OK. So this dude, Femi, wants to get married but being a rich man, he wants his wife to love him for who he is. All well and good. So he and his driver, Egin trade places and he tries this trick on his girlfriends who beforehand don’t know his house, apparently. Yes, I said girlfriends.
There’s a juxtaposition at play in the movie. The case of Bukky, the girlfriend who falls for the trap and the case of Idontremember who loves him for who he is.
He loves Bukky but when I watched it, he introduced whatshername to his boss first. After that one passed the initial test with flying colours, he tried it on Bukky.
I liked the film. I really did. But;
1. If you want a virtuous woman, how do you hope to get one when you as a man are a stupid cheat?
2. If you introduced whatsherface as the original victim and she scaled through, what would you have done if Bukky had also scaled through? Married both of them?
3. And a question for all of you reading, honestly speaking, all things being equal, would you date a driver? Or an artisan?
Because lots of people kept saying Bukky’s unwillingness to made her a bad woman and I want to know what makes her bad.

HAPPY FIVE

In recent times,this video has been giving me life. Peep the officer’s expression when he receives the phone call about the latest robbery.
As a lawyer, I have certain issues with the arrest, but I understand that it’s fiction. But, still.

*
Article Recommendations

http://www.shadesofbrownnigeria.blogspot.com.ng/2016/02/there-are-many-hardworking-black.html – The first time I read this post, I mad loved it. Read it and see why. 😃

http://zikoko.com- This e- magazine is one of the funniest things I found off Twitter.

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9 thoughts on “Happy Mishmash Tuesdays, Week 7

  1. Hi,

    I imagined the peeing and pooping and I cringed before smiling, I cannot deal with living beings that cannot handle their own waste matter (except for babies, of course lol)

    Re: Mikey’s tears, I once read that dogs had emotions not unlike humans.

    The Nigerian in me is thinking the spirit of a perfume is haunting you, but in a good way.

    Femi Driver sounds like the sort of movie that I would love, even though one can pretty much tell the end right from the beginning. Ah! Nollywood.

    Simi’s voice makes me happy, her vocal range is a delight.

    Have a lovely week.

    PS: Why was there was no happy mishmash Tuesday last week?

    1. Hi Nedoux,
      First off, thanks for commenting. And don’t read the next lines while eating. Yes, I totally see your point about living things that cannot handle their own waste matter but then again, I wouldn’t want him to eat or drink it. He hasn’t been eating very much lately, I don’t want him to supplement by eating his droppings. Dogs have emotions definitely. The way Mikey looks at me sometimes, I go in and come back out, it’s so sad.
      I really like that theory. At least it’s a good spirit. I can’t imagine the spirit of a perfume being bad, except it’s Womanity. I do not like that fragrance at all.
      Nollywood is actually doing better I think, I watched Wives on Strike last week Thursday at the cinema and I really liked it. And I like Femi Driver, it teaches me not to be too assuming about people I don’t know. But the video arrangement and some of the plot leaves a lot to be desired really.
      My love for Simi no get Part 2. Tiff, Soldier, Jamb Question. Jamb question! (You can tell I adore that song) etc are beautiful works of art.
      I want to say that I love your new post up. You’ve really got to learn how to pick your battles or “you” become a complainer or a moody ingrate. And you seem to have.
      Have a lovely week yourself.
      Answer to PS- There won’t be one this week either. I’m on strike. Peep the postscript of the second last My Best Friend’s Dad.

      1. @ “eating his droppings” Chai! Ewuo!

        Been a while since I went to the cinema, I should go and watch Wives on Strike, it’s received great reviews so far.

        I’m glad you read the post, the feedback has been interesting, some find certain bits of the post rather controversial. Well, a post about debates was bound to trigger a debate. Lol

        PS: “Blogger on Strike”. 😀

      2. Hehehe. Quite a lot of dogs do it. Some of them just investigate it, not eat it. Like Mikey. If you’re eating, stop now.
        Before him though, we had a dog; Tessa and she’d sometimes eat it and then attempt to lick our faces. She also regularly killed rats, lizards and birds and left them for us. Apart from the birds and to a lesser degree the lizards I really appreciated that.
        If you can get to the cinema without stressing yourself, sure, you should watch it. Personally, I want to see Jungle Book next. The trailer is amazing!
        I read all your posts. Might not comment on some but I’ve read your archives through and through. Working on doing that with Adaeze and Adaezenwa now. And of course, declaring that you’re not a feminist or don’t see what the struggle is about is bound to cause some controversy but the way I’ve always looked at it is this way; 1) Do I care about this? 2) Am I sure I have all the facts to help my case?
        If yes, wage war. But just like no one has ever convinced me to eat garri by smacking their lips and pronouncing it delicious, no one can force you to care about anything that you genuinely don’t care about. And that’s perfectly alright.
        PS: I’m glad you’re smiling about it. Just tired-ish currently.

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