My Best Friend’s Dad – And Now, Ebube (Scene 11)

It’s terrible manners to begin to chew food then let it fall back onto your plate. Once, I went on a date with someone who was nice, a Christian and handsome to boot but then,  he did that in front of me when I told him I planned to start a company.
He then proceeded to pick up the bit of food, and put it back in his mouth. And just like you watch a train wreck when you can do nothing about it, I watched. In turns fascinated and utterly disgusted.
And then he proceeded to tell me why he didn’t think I could start a company. Would I have time for my family? Would it not intimidate men? What of the man who would marry me? How would I get the money? Would my husband be able to trust me? At that point I was utterly fascinated and yet, I had lost my appetite. The way he was chewing, it gave me horrible goosebumps. And then, when he was done, when my leftovers had been packed up and the bill was brought, he happened to mention that for what I had ordered, he deserved a good gift and he winked at me. I smiled dazzlingly at him. I hate to argue. Especially when the arguments are pointless. I truly do. And if someone had gotten to 29 years of age and still had this kind of mentality?
So I smiled at him, brought out my purse right then and paid him for everything he had ordered for me. Then, I ignored his baffled look and proceeded to order a sorbet to go. By the time it came, I was very thoroughly and very calmly engaging him in a conversation about his misogynistic views. I shared no personal details though. But it was important to me that the last view he had of me was not entirely unpleasant. I did not want to taint his perception of women even further. And I didn’t. I’m proud of that till this day, even though the way he chews gives me goosebumps every time I think of it.
At this point, everyone has stopped eating, is subtly glancing between me and Boma, seeing how I’ll react. And then I notice his hands, he’s clutching his fork really tightly. Aww. Does it mean this much to him? Apparently it does. But there’s no way I’m going to give him a reply in front of my whole family.
“Could we talk about this later?”
Then I stare pointedly at Amara who takes the hint and begins to ask Boma what he thinks about the food.
And everybody resumes eating. I sneak a look at Boma. Whatever else, he chews his food properly.


I didn’t mean to blurt it out. It was just such a relief to hear that she was unattached that I wanted to ask her out before someone else got to her.
After I had said it, I noticed a change in the atmosphere. Everyone suddenly perked up and she got a speculative look in her eye before she told me we’d talk about it later.
Then we finished our meal and I did my utmost best to avoid the glare Bunmi was giving me.


When the meal was over, I took my time ferrying plates to the kitchen and cleaning up the table. It’s rare for me to be in this kind of situation and I need the extra time to debate the benefits of going on a date with someone I really wanted to friendzone. Plus, I wanted to have an opportunity to do small shakara.
I walked him to his car afterwards.
“I spoke with your dad yesterday”
“I’ve never seen him take a liking to someone as fast as he did to you”
“I wouldn’t know. But he reminds me of  someone I used to love”
“Erm, do you want to talk about it?”
“No. Not at all. But you asked me a question and I wanted to give you my answer. Yes, I’ll go out with you. We’ll see where it goes from there”

* – When the dead speak, it’s advisable for the living to listen. It’s important that you read this post. Thanks. In today’s episode of tomfoolery, may I present: the Nigerian soldiers!
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12 thoughts on “My Best Friend’s Dad – And Now, Ebube (Scene 11)

  1. Lol @ small shakara. That guy was disgusting! I would have walked out! Warraheck was that? Then he had to compound it with his archaic and even stupid, misogynistic thoughts? Ebube is patient o!

    1. Lol! I know.
      There are so many people I’ve met like that. I’m trying to clear my head space so that I can stop meeting people like that.

      1. Oh!
        Death to misogyny, any day. Ironically most of these people do not even understand that they are being misogynistic.

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