Thanking My Scars Ep. 1

Hi again!
This year, I asked God for ideas. And to shine through whatever I post.
Just like Happy Tuesdays, this is going to be a thing. It just will not be regularly scheduled. As inspiration strikes, I’ll write.
Last year, I was scrolling. I don’t remember the blog name now, but they (there were 3 writers) had a post that was interesting to me. They each took a picture of a visible scar on their body and thanked it.
I forgot about it but recently the idea has cropped up. I’ve been feeling super grateful recently and I want to inspire someone.

I’m a hermit sometimes. I burrow deep into my cave and snooze, read, or laugh away. Why? Because I choose to be.
Growing up, I found that most of the time I stepped out of my house, I’d be irritated, harassed or I’d have something weird happen to me. It was easier and loads more fun for me to stay in my house instead. Yes, my house, room mostly, is my happy place.
Even when stuff happened in my house, even when the handshake extended way past the elbow, it is still my happy place.
Speaking of stuff, I’ve been thinking and yes, feeling grateful to the lesson teacher of shamed lore recently.
I’ve forgiven him. I even prayed for him. But I don’t like him at all. And I probably never will.
However, I’ve been feeling very grateful.
Because he does have something to do with all of this. I’m a hermit because I realized early on that my family and our home is my safe haven.
And while there’s no guarantee of safety at your house instead of outside, I’m happy I found something I liked really early on.
I’m also grateful to him, for making me question everything. Every motive. The Bible says to test the spirits. I know how many problems I have sidestepped, learning to watch people silently. And undoubtedly, there are more.
So, I thank him, because while he remains a scar, a blight in my mind whenever I remember, I have learned to live and thrive with him. So thank you. Andupyours!

* Fiction. But it’s so interesting! –  Nonfiction but I found myself nodding so hard in agreement.


7 thoughts on “Thanking My Scars Ep. 1

  1. Stuff made me breathless even though I’d read it before, just like it did when I first read it. I am not ready to face my own scar, I know I’d lose my sanity if I do that now. Will I ever be ready? I don’t know but when I have children I will NOT let them out of my sight until they are old enough to stab anyone who tries to abuse them.

    1. Ahh sweetheart! Come here, I have a hug for you.
      Truth is, there is absolutely NO guarantee ANYWHERE of safety. No one either. Babies are sexually abused these days, you know? Let me horrify you further- An uncle raped his year old niece, gave her HIV, Genital herpes and chlamydia. I can’t let myself think of it too much, I want to be productive at work today.
      I hope you get to a place where you can look back and say, “This shouldn’t have happened, but I see the benefit, however small, now”
      And if you don’t get there anytime soon, know that you’re one of the bravest people i know and my respect for you keeps growing everyday.

      1. Oh Jesus!
        And he’s still alive? Her parents have not killed him yet?
        I’d kill him without even hesitating and kill his spirit and soul too if possible.
        Thanks for the shout out, that’s one of my earliest stories and one of my favourites too.

  2. Hi,

    Very honest post, I’m saddened that you had to go through that horrid experience. Sometimes, our scars don’t blemish our spirits, they heal eventually and teach us, so we emerge stronger to face the future.

    I cannot understand the degree of perversion that will make an adult seek sexual solace in an under-age child. Just today I read the news of a teacher who allegedly molested a young student.

    It’s so unfair to interfere with a person’s childhood.

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