Men and Women: Are we really so different?

Hi people of the earth and beyond,

In 2012 a movie was released from the stables of Rainforest Films and distributed by Screen Gems. It drew its humour from real life situations and we all know those are the funniest kinds of movies. In fact, the movie sent me on a search for the book itself.
Guessed the movie yet?
Another clue- It was written by a bald- headed comedian/television host. Ring any bells yet?
I’m not going to tell you the name. You guys are insanely smart. Figure it out. 🙂

Anyway, I’ve read the book 3 and a half times since. An aborted reading of my roommate’s copy in 2012, of my copy in 2013 and ’14 and of my brother’s copy in 2015. It’s a great book honestly.

Apart from some observations I think are sexist and the question- when did abstinence/celibacy become mutually exclusive from being a Christian, I quite agree with most of the points he raised.

The basis for this particular post is something he said about ways to know if a man loves you. To wit: If a man loves you, he will;
1. Profess.
2. Provide.
3. Protect.

image
Source: Wikipedia

It is my humble submission that a woman would do the exact same things.

1. Profess- Apart from my family and my best friends, (and my blog readers of course), I have never said I love you to anyone. So I will not be holding myself up as an example. But, the average female professes her love in multiple ways. It’s in the cooking, the cleaning, the doing anything to lose the pregnancy weight so the attraction will still be there. I’ve seen transformations in friends of mine simply because there was a guy they were interested in. And they (since I’ve excluded myself) say it. Continuously. I love you babe. You’re an idiot, delivered with a playful jab to the chest and heart in eyes. Women profess.

2. Provide- The feminist movement lost most Nigerian women at the part where it stipulated that we pay for stuff. It truly did. Myself included. But a couple of times when I was shacked up (in the extraordinarily platonic sense of that word) and felt enough for a guy I truly liked, I never actually minded providing. Now please, don’t take this as a licence to rifle through my Facebook/Instagram profile to see who I was “providing” for. You won’t see anything. 😎. And if you read this I give you permission to let a fleeting thought pass through of my seeming hypocrisy. I will not blame you. Anyhoo, the “provision” was made, the first time because I was a nice girl and I really wanted to go out with him. And naive. Let’s not forget naive. The second time, it was made as a reciprocal gesture.
The point is, when push comes to shove, no woman worth her salt would stand by and let a man she loved suffer. Besides, our aforementioned comedian happened to give an example of various methods of provision, including fixing things, removing stressors from her immediate environment. He stressed that provision is not confined to financial provision only. It goes beyond that. Hence, to my way of thinking, when a woman bakes for you, launders your clothes etc, she is providing for you. Say Thank You.

3. Protect: This is the one I might have a bit of trouble reconciling. But stick with me. Like provision, protection is a role traditionally reserved for men. But, while men have the job of protecting their wives and family especially physically, women have also been doing the exact same thing for years.
Women are emotional protectors. We tell our men little white lies to protect their images and shelter their pride. We tell our kids happily-ever-stories when they have nightmares to reinforce the fact that the world despite its many problems is an amazing place. The way I see it, that’s just as important, just as needed as a man walking his lady down to her place and waiting at the foot of the stairs on a night without light in a violent city. And every once in a while, we are physical protectors too.

With the above few points of mine, I hope I have been able to bolster your conviction that men and women are not so different after all.

P.S. 1- This is a post with gender overtones, I expect, and even look forward, to the arguments that will probably come with it but do us all a favour, will you? Please don’t be rude and don’t generalize.

P.S. 2- No, I don’t “provide” for guys as a general thing. And if I ever do so again, especially in the beginning, it would serve you well to realise that you have just been consigned to the friendzone.:)

P.S. 3- I have a Facebook page! And a BBM channel- C0048BAF5/ C00357DF4. They’re in the early stages and I intend to fill them up. Here’s the address of the page-

Come visit me. See you over there!

And now, let the comments roll in! 💛

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16 thoughts on “Men and Women: Are we really so different?

  1. Seen the post, thought I left a comment back then, definitely my bad. You’re right, when it comes down to the basics we’re not so different after all

  2. Think Like A Man – Steve Harvey. Yasss! I am insanely smart 😀

    Profess made me smile…

    “Women are emotional protectors.” so profound Uju.

    I agree with the 3 Ps, but I still insist that women are from venus and men from mars though, lol

  3. “Vuvuzela?” Did you mean “Lepatata Mambu?” Okay, I confess, I looked it up and now I must have one. Off to Amazon. Thanks for the chance to learn something today. Nice post too, BTW.

    1. Ahh! Thank you for visiting and commenting. I didn’t mean to turn you into a budding shopaholic 😝. And you’re totally welcome.

  4. consigned to the friendzone.:) – haha, exactly. Anytime I’ve paid for a man’s meal is because I have no dating interest, as if stating “You do not own me, I’m not going to be indebted to you.” Where as if a man pays for a date it’s a major turn on. Not that dates have to cost money, but yeah, really enjoyed your post!

    1. Hi there!
      Glad you found me. And I totally understand the concept. I think it too 🙂
      Thank you so much for visiting my blog and commenting. You lifted my spirits.
      Hugs. 💛

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