Hi people of the earth and beyond,
In 2012 a movie was released from the stables of Rainforest Films and distributed by Screen Gems. It drew its humour from real life situations and we all know those are the funniest kinds of movies. In fact, the movie sent me on a search for the book itself.
Guessed the movie yet?
Another clue- It was written by a bald- headed comedian/television host. Ring any bells yet?
I’m not going to tell you the name. You guys are insanely smart. Figure it out. 🙂
Anyway, I’ve read the book 3 and a half times since. An aborted reading of my roommate’s copy in 2012, of my copy in 2013 and ’14 and of my brother’s copy in 2015. It’s a great book honestly.
Apart from some observations I think are sexist and the question- when did abstinence/celibacy become mutually exclusive from being a Christian, I quite agree with most of the points he raised.
The basis for this particular post is something he said about ways to know if a man loves you. To wit: If a man loves you, he will;
It is my humble submission that a woman would do the exact same things.
1. Profess- Apart from my family and my best friends, (and my blog readers of course), I have never said I love you to anyone. So I will not be holding myself up as an example. But, the average female professes her love in multiple ways. It’s in the cooking, the cleaning, the doing anything to lose the pregnancy weight so the attraction will still be there. I’ve seen transformations in friends of mine simply because there was a guy they were interested in. And they (since I’ve excluded myself) say it. Continuously. I love you babe. You’re an idiot, delivered with a playful jab to the chest and heart in eyes. Women profess.
2. Provide- The feminist movement lost most Nigerian women at the part where it stipulated that we pay for stuff. It truly did. Myself included. But a couple of times when I was shacked up (in the extraordinarily platonic sense of that word) and felt enough for a guy I truly liked, I never actually minded providing. Now please, don’t take this as a licence to rifle through my Facebook/Instagram profile to see who I was “providing” for. You won’t see anything. 😎. And if you read this I give you permission to let a fleeting thought pass through of my seeming hypocrisy. I will not blame you. Anyhoo, the “provision” was made, the first time because I was a nice girl and I really wanted to go out with him. And naive. Let’s not forget naive. The second time, it was made as a reciprocal gesture.
The point is, when push comes to shove, no woman worth her salt would stand by and let a man she loved suffer. Besides, our aforementioned comedian happened to give an example of various methods of provision, including fixing things, removing stressors from her immediate environment. He stressed that provision is not confined to financial provision only. It goes beyond that. Hence, to my way of thinking, when a woman bakes for you, launders your clothes etc, she is providing for you. Say Thank You.
3. Protect: This is the one I might have a bit of trouble reconciling. But stick with me. Like provision, protection is a role traditionally reserved for men. But, while men have the job of protecting their wives and family especially physically, women have also been doing the exact same thing for years.
Women are emotional protectors. We tell our men little white lies to protect their images and shelter their pride. We tell our kids happily-ever-stories when they have nightmares to reinforce the fact that the world despite its many problems is an amazing place. The way I see it, that’s just as important, just as needed as a man walking his lady down to her place and waiting at the foot of the stairs on a night without light in a violent city. And every once in a while, we are physical protectors too.
With the above few points of mine, I hope I have been able to bolster your conviction that men and women are not so different after all.
P.S. 1- This is a post with gender overtones, I expect, and even look forward, to the arguments that will probably come with it but do us all a favour, will you? Please don’t be rude and don’t generalize.
P.S. 2- No, I don’t “provide” for guys as a general thing. And if I ever do so again, especially in the beginning, it would serve you well to realise that you have just been consigned to the friendzone.:)
P.S. 3- I have a Facebook page! And a BBM channel- C0048BAF5/ C00357DF4. They’re in the early stages and I intend to fill them up. Here’s the address of the page-
Come visit me. See you over there!
And now, let the comments roll in! 💛