Ironically this is the first post about my hair on this blog. I’d been working on one called My Salon Issues but…
Getting back to it…
(Receivers’ Address Here)
I love you all and because of this love, I need to say this one teeny weeny tiny thing that chokes me up and brings me to angry, annoyed or frustrated tears whenever you chime in with your “helpful” suggestions about my hair. It is this-
Please. Stop. Criticizing. Me
Oh your suggestions are extremely helpful sometimes, it certainly is a pleasure to know that you care about my appearance and I eagerly await the day when Chike will buy me that weave BUT I genuinely beg you to stop the comparison, the snide comments, the incessant pointing out of faults. You all know that I can’t stand it. And if you didn’t, biko start taking notes.
This hair; I did not start it as a feminist statement, I did not cut it off to spite anyone. My hair is not a statement, not a whim and not a way to continuously siphon money off anyone. I didn’t do that when it was relaxed so gwanu’m, why would I be doing that now?
And while we are on the subject, leave me be on the subject of protective styling. I know when I want to braid, weave or put a weave on. Your “helpful suggestions” and threats don’t do anything other than frustrate and antagonise me.
If you genuinely do want to help, get knowledgeable about natural hair. Get me hair accessories that I can use. Do not make sweeping judgment statements and also, stop threatening to cut my hair or refuse to be seen with me until I do something “about that nonsense on my head”. I just might take you up on that offer. But I won’t do anything about the hair, I’ll do something about YOU.
It might surprise you to know but this hair gets complimented fairly often.
And not just by men. And when it is well styled, I have practically given conferences on the sidewalk, my bedroom and outside the class on it and caring for it. I’d like to believe that I’m growing in this journey. Don’t rain on my parade. And though this hair might seem odd to you, remember this,
By the way, while we’re already on the subject, I’d appreciate it also if you swallowed all your catty comments about my “accent”, the way I walk and my “weirdness”. If you could, please turn them into compliments. I’d love that. I’d even return it.
Till then, I remain…
Biko- Please (Igbo)
Gwanu’m- Tell me (Igbo)