I CAN KILL MYSELF

Did the title shock you?
I meant it to. ;-). Sorry about that. I’m about to get real with you for a minute.

Almost every law student can tell you that at some point or the other, when the caseload and the volume of the materials they were called to read got heavier, they asked themselves; “Why am I studying Law?” Why did I choose this course?
I had the “privilege” of listening to just such a rant in Year 3. And at the end of it, the speaker concluded by saying- “I cannot kill myself”.
When she was done, I patted her on the back and went on to continue my own reading.

I, on the other hand, believe that if at first you don’t succeed, find new books and read them. And so it went on, for years. But I wasn’t getting the results I was expecting. So I read even more. I created study groups, I prayed seemingly so much at those times.

That’s just background information. This is the story :-
Burnout can be a terrible thing. A hopeless thing. And I crashed and  burned out last year. The burnout was explosive… and very noisy too.
When I ‘d burned out almost fully, a friend of mine (Baby Girl Number 2) wrote two pages of confessions out for me. And since  becoming a relatively recent, frequent reader of this blog, I now fully understand the power of daily, positive confession. And its importance too.

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I don’t want you to squint but I did want to share the confessions with you. It is quite great and I believe it will help with any battles and challenges you might be facing.
Here goes-

THESE ARE MY DECLARATIONS BECAUSE GOD LOVES ME

I DECLARE THAT I HAVE A SOUND MIND FILLED WITH GOOD THOUGHTS,  NOT THOUGHTS OF DEFEAT BY FAITH. I AM WELL ABLE, I AM ANOINTED, I AM EQUIPPED. MY THOUGHTS ARE GUIDED BY GOD’S WORD EVERYDAY. NO OBSTACLE CAN DEFEAT ME BECAUSE MY MIND IS PROGRAMMED FOR VICTORY.

I DECLARE THAT BREAKTHROUGHS ARE COMING IN MY LIFE, SUDDEN BURSTS OF GOD’S GOODNESS, NOT A TRICKLE, NOT A STREAM, BUT A FLOOD OF GOD’S POWER. A FLOOD OF HEALING. A FLOOD OF WISDOM, A FLOOD OF FAVOUR. I AM A BREAKTHROUGH PERSON. GOD IS OVERWHELMING ME WITH HIS GOODNESS AND AMAZING ME WITH HIS FAVOUR.

I DECLARE THAT THERE IS AN ANOINTING OF EASE UPON MY LIFE. GOD IS GOING BEFORE ME MAKING THE CROOKED PLACES STRAIGHT. HIS YOKE IS EASY AND HIS BURDEN IS LIGHT. I WILL NOT CONTINUALLY STRUGGLE. WHAT USED TO BE DIFFICULT WILL NOT BE DIFFICULT ANYMORE. GOD’S FAVOUR AND BLESSINGS ON MY LIFE IS LIGHTENING THE LOAD AND TAKING THE PRESSURE OFF.

I DECLARE THAT I AM CALM AND PEACEFUL. I WILL NOT LET PEOPLE OR CIRCUMSTANCES UPSET ME. I WILL RISE ABOVE EVERY DIFFICULTY KNOWING THAT GOD HAS GIVEN ME THE POWER TO REMAIN CALM. I CHOOSE TO LIVE MY LIFE HAPPY, BLOOM WHEREVER I AM PLANTED AND LET GOD FIGHT MY BATTLES.

THIS IS MY DECLARATION BECAUSE HE LOVES ME!

By the way, here is Baby Girl Number 2. She’s an amazing person and a phenomenal friend. I’m so proud of the woman she is  becoming.

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P. S- The Freedom series is not yet over. I’ve just been extremely lazy about it. I’ll post something within the week.

As always, thanks for reading! And commenting ;-).

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20 thoughts on “I CAN KILL MYSELF

  1. yeah, i agree maybe it is not God that lets us down but our own faith which weakens and we let ourselves down by refusing to keep the faith…but killing oneself is also a good option to keep in mind should the rope break and we see no mercy from anyone.

    i see so many elderly struggling on their own and i wonder why they have to suffer pain and loneliness for so long…and maybe it points out the selfishness of their families…and the rest of us will learn lessons about humanity..and how we ourselves shouldnt be…and why we shouldnt continue to keep family for the sake of blood ties…which is where i am at.

    1. Sweetheart, first of all, thank you for the comment.
      Secondly, I’m sorry about your troubles. Take heart, GOD has overcome the world.
      Third, please recite the confessions I listed out. I wrote it for just such a person as you at a time like yours. Bookmark it and confess it everyday or as often as you feel like doing so.
      Your outlook and the things that happen to you tend to reflect your perceptions. Frankly, the question “Why…” will always be asked. I’m tired, I think of asking why. I prefer to change my outlook and my perception and to be the change I have always hoped to see.
      I heartily encourage you to do the same :-).
      Once again, thanks for the comment. Be happy!

  2. I’m so glad I followed the link that led me here. And thanks for posting the link.
    I’m definitely going to be copying down those confessions.
    Burnout is a terrible thing but it can also be a pretty good wake up call. I’m learning not to wait for the crash but to prevent it. Thanks again!

    1. Thanks for following the link. And definitely, thanks for wanting to copy it out.
      Burnout is very scary also and it’s always good to know how to be on alert against it.

    2. Thanks for following the link. And definitely, thanks for wanting to copy it out.
      Burnout is very scary also and it’s always good to know how to be on alert against it. And prevent it.

  3. Okay.. So this is one amazing post.. Copying the confessions ASAP.. Sometimes, I think we often become too familiar with words that we often forget the power of words…. Thanks for this..

    1. Thank you! And You’re welcome on the reply.
      And that is such an awesome truth. We are so familiar with words, that we completely forget that words can be transformational.
      You’re wholly welcome.

  4. I was alarmed at first by the post title, many crazy ideas were interrupting my thought process.

    I like the daily confession thing, I might incorporate it into my daily routine. thanks so much for sharing and Yes Happy New Year

  5. Hi Uju,

    Considering the recent spate of publicized suicides, the title of your post alarmed me for a bit, then I saw the date it was published, and relaxed. 🙂

    This post really spoke volumes to me. I need to take daily, positive confession more seriously.

    Thank you so much for sharing these declarations.

    1. Hallo!
      I wasn’t actually going to kill myself, and I’m still not going to. I do however have a flair for the dramatic and inappropriate. So forgive me. The plan was to scare and well, I’m happy I succeeded at that.
      You’re very welcome Nedu and please use the confessions as much as you need.
      A plus tard!

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